The first person to pray in history was named Hachmud (which is pronounced like you are sneezing and coughing at the same time) who lived in Mesopotamia. He was a goatherd, lost his goat in a well then prayed to the Gods to return his goat unharmed. A day later the goat appeared in a dream to Hachmud in the form of a ham and cheese sandwich. When he explained this to the elders, they banished Hachmud and took away his wives (including the old one with the mustache and sideburns). This was the happiest day of Hachmud's life. His true prayers were answered. He was never fond of goatherding and his prayers were answered. Well, not actually HIS prayers, but things worked out well, so he never stopped praying.

What of prayer?

To the most ardent, prayer is impotent unless it is married to rationalization. Without being able to rationalize why you failed or didn't get your way after praying your heart out, you'd never be able to cope with the let-down. Rationalization is therefore the only backup. If your prayers didn't work, then there must be a power higher than you who did not make things work out. My question: Then what good does praying ever do if somebody or something can negate your prayers at any given moment for any flippant, unannounced, unpredictable, counter-productive reason?

We just finished a crazy-go-nuts election cycle. Sarah Palin and many in the religious right prayed like there was no tomorrow. They prayed that they would win. They prayed that all their lying, deceit and defamation would bring them a victory. Well, to be fair, they never admitted their lying, deceit or defamation, but they did think they were right and that, by praying, things would go their way. They didn't. Candidates failed. Prayers failed.

Did God want Obama to win? Looks that way. The Big Guy "upstairs" vetoed all his devoted followers and went for Obama. I bet that Palin and her followers are all pretty pissed at God, right? No. They say He works in mysterious ways. You think Palin is now second-guessing killing innocent animals with a long-range rifle or insisting that life began 5,000 years ago? Me neither.

I used to watch football games every weekend from Saturday at noon until Monday night after midnight. I couldn't get enough football. Then one day about five years ago I stopped cold turkey. No more football viewership. I got sick of it. The praying part of the game was, to me, as idiotic as the sportscasters. Before and after the game, teammates get together for prayer sessions on the field and in the locker rooms. They pray for a good game, for a hard effort and for a victory. Some pray to get laid after the game, which is actually more reasonable than asking God to beat up a guy named Jemal who can bench-press Iowa.

Both teams pray hard to win, but only one does. If prayers really worked this way, you'd think that one of these would be the result:
1. Every game would end in a tie, the winner to be decided by God (because all the praying would cancel out the other praying)
2. The whole field would blow up and leave nothing left (because the praying would be so overwhelming that it would make matter explode)
3. The losers would abandon God altogether
4. The winners would believe that God helped them win and completely ignore that the other team prayed for God's help as well.

Actually, the last item is what happens week after week, month after month, year after year. If you don't know the infinite wisdom and plan of God, then save your energy and don't pray. If you do know, then don't pray because it's pointless.

But you know what the result is of all the prayer? One team wins and the other loses. Does God like the New York Giants more than the Patriots? Where was He when I wanted them to win five years ago? The Patriots must all hate God now for accepting their prayers then letting the Giants win. But they don't. They are still praying.

I pray you'll take this article in a constructive light.